Many smokers say, ‘I simply don’t have the willpower to quit smoking.’ But if you can handle a stressful work call or solve a family crisis, you already possess that strength. The secret isn’t a lack of will, but how we apply it to our habits.
“I just don’t have enough willpower to quit smoking,” you state firmly.
“I see… And tell me, what exactly do you mean by ‘willpower’?”
“Well, it’s…” At that moment, your phone rings. It’s the usual story; you know it well. That one issue that complicates your life, but in the end, you always manage to pull through, fixing everything on the fly…
“Hello?” you say in a tired voice. “Wait, I have to do what?… By when?” From the other end of the line, pleas and requests pour in. “Okay, okay, I get it… Don’t worry, it’s fine, I’ll do it… Yes, yes. It won’t take long. I have to stop by the health center too, but later… I’m with a friend right now. When I’m done, I’ll head over and take care of it.” The person insists again. “How much longer will I be? —your friend whispers ‘20 minutes?’— I don’t know… maybe half an hour… It can wait, right?” you try to calm them down. “I’ll be there in time, don’t worry…”
You hang up and sigh. This matter drains your energy; even when you try to escape by meeting friends, walking, or doing your favorite hobby, it always pops up.
“The usual, right?” your friend says.
“Yeah, well, it is what it is. It has to be done, so you do it. That’s all there is to it.”
“But it’s difficult.”
“Sure it is, just like it is for many other people. But that’s normal; I’m no exception. It’s a normal part of life. Sometimes you run into difficulties, but that’s just how it goes. You roll up your sleeves and you keep moving forward.”
“And you have willpower for this?” he asks.
“Yes, I have to. I have to get it done no matter what.”
“And do you do everything perfectly?”
“I wish!” you exclaim. “You wouldn’t believe the blunders I make sometimes… But hey, when you mess up, somehow you always find the solution, and that way, next time, you’ve learned your lesson…”
“I see… but it’s like you said: if it’s not the kids, it’s the grandkids, or a job that consumes you, or I don’t know… someone taking their driving test and finally passing on the fifth try. We all have difficulties or challenges in our lives and we overcome them, however we can, but we overcome them.”
“Yeah, you’re right about that.”
“So, if you are capable of overcoming all sorts of difficulties and adversities, why do you see it differently with tobacco?”
“But it’s not the same! Don’t compare them!” you shoot back.
“Of course it’s not the same! But if you are capable of overcoming other challenges in your life, isn’t that what having willpower is?”
“Yes, but…”
“Is it willpower that helps you deal with all this mess from that phone call?”
“I wouldn’t put it that way. I just feel I have to do it, so I look for a way to come out on top.”
Redefining Your Willpower to Quit Smoking
“So, we have two difficult situations: in one, you say you feel capable of persisting until you succeed, and in the other, you say there’s no way.”
“Fine, it’s not logical. No matter how you put it, for me, quitting smoking is very difficult.”
“I’m not saying otherwise. Do you remember how hard it was for me?” he replies. “And tell me one thing: Am I the only person you know who struggled to quit? Am I the exception?”
You search your memory and remember other people who quit smoking after a real struggle, even after several attempts… and they made it.
“So, what do you say?” your friend asks again.
Navigation Options
- Yes, you’re right. What do I have to lose by trying to quit?
- Yes, but I just can’t do it right now.
- You know I’ve tried several times and I couldn’t do it.
- Deep down, I actually like smoking.
- I don’t want to quit because I don’t see it affecting me; I’ll quit later.
- I think it’s honestly too late to quit smoking.
- If you think it’s about willpower, maybe it’s worth seeing the full picture first.